…and then some

Stress and Sleep

Over the past few months I have seen my stress level grow considerably.
I've become generally more irritable and stressed over things. Now that
summer vacation is over and I'm working with students again, I have
noticed that I am having a very difficult time working with the first
graders. The best thing I can do to keep from freaking out is to just
get them started on some work and interact with them as little as
possible. It keeps them busy but it's not ideal. If first grade was
all I worked with then I would quit my job. However, I also work with
2nd, 3rd, and 4th, and they are ok. Each class is with me for only 50
minutes at a time, so I get about 50 minutes of first graders a day. On
Thursdays and Fridays I get two first grade classes in a row. Those
times are by far the most stressful.

I bought a bottle of vitamin B (thiamin) because it's supposed to help
with stress and irritability. I was taking two a day for about a week
but after that I just started forgetting to take it. I should get back
on it because I didn't take it long enough to see if it was helping. I
don't know why I get stressed so easily these days. I try to look at
things positively and objectively. It just doesn't work all of the

It's possible the stress has something to do with my sleeping problems,
but that came on very recently, while the stress has been around for
quite some time. As a note to those who left comments suggesting ways
to "make myself sleepy", I believe there is something you do not
understand. Being sleepy is not the issue. I get extremely sleepy. I
lie in bed exhausted. The problem is that even though I am so sleepy, I
can't get myself to fall asleep. The only reason I was able to type
that blog was because I was able to sneak in some rest at some point and
wasn't quite as sleepy as I was the night before. It's hard to explain.
Just imagine being "too tired to sleep".

I slept a little bit better last night, but it still wasn't easy. As
tired as I get I should be able to just lie down and call it quits, but
no. I lie down, toss and turn, pull a cover over me, turn over, remove
the cover, adjust the pillows, try the cover again, move the pillows,
stretch a bit, turn over, ditch the cover, switch pillows… and it just
goes on. Once I get to sleep I would be lucky to stay that way until
morning. If I happen to wake up in the middle of the night, chances are
the process starts over again.


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