Not Reality. Actuality.
First of all, I HATE that phrase (my subject). I used it anyway this time.
The reality of my move is starting to sink in and I don’t think I can handle it. I called my mom to see if maybe she could help me with buying a new monitor and she said some things that really freaked me out. I really don’t know how I’m going to do this. I have to get another job by the end of the month and I honestly, truly don’t know how I’m going to do that. I simply do NOT have it in me to go get more work, and NO it’s not laziness. I’m not being lazy. I’m being anxious. I’m an anxiety-wrought mess and I can’t pull myself together to make this work. I’m starting to become less “nervous” and more “scared out of my mind”.